Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Autobiography of Fikriyani Nur Rahman

This is an autobiography of my dearly young sister. I just...proud of her.

Okay,  let me be honest to you first miss, I am not good in writing. But the good news is, I can learn. So, in this miserable issue—that I cannot write as good as you expected— , I think I’ll do it in a diary-kind-of-writing. Cause I write diary a lot. Every night, since in elementary school. So, you kinda expect us to write about our self. And my second honesty to you is that, I cannot describe about myself too. Well, I’ll try on it cause you said we must improve things. I’ll try to improve my confidence in writing and describing about myself.

My name is Fikriyani Nur Rahman. But please, just call me Fiky. Fiky, with ‘F’ and without ‘C’. Cause people always think that it’s Vicky instead of Fiky. But I can handle that. I’m used to it. It began when I was in first grade of elementary when my name on absent list was Vikryani which was all wrong since that time people always think that it’s Vicky not Fiky. Actually, I cried because of that. My Mini-Me thought that it’s so unfair and so mean by writing someone’s name in a wrong way. By the way, why do I have to tell you that story? Okay,  next thing about my name is that I kind of annoyed if somebody called me Fikri. I just think that it’s a boy name and it’s so weird for a girl called by a boy’s name. And also, when I studied English at  LIA Depok, we had an English teacher for once and She called me Freakyani. And I was like, ‘Oh man! Not this time’. I know I’m weird sometimes. And I know It’s quiet obvious sometimes that I’m weird. Okay, forget it.

About me? Well, I don’t know. So rare people want to know about me. Thank you cause you want to know. I was born in Jakarta, November 1st 1995. And my mom was almost died because of giving birth to me. Really, It’s like a little secret that I’ve been keeping but I still feel such a guilty because of that. I always hate my birthday cause when it comes to me every year, there always bad things happen before or after the birthday. I’m not saying that I’m a bad luck girl. I don’t buy it anyway. But, I really fear it. Cause terrible things happen. Like at my 6th birthday, my dad carried a birthday present for me and he got accident on the way home. And also at my 7th birthday, my mom got robbed and she got hurt too. And the last was on my 17th birthday. Ah! I don’t believe in those things girls my age believe that 17th birthday is everything. My dad died right on 7 days before my birthday. I was so sad about that. I still. But I’m not anymore. Cause I’m doing things that can make me happy. Like, reading books—I’m a bookworm—, listen to the radio, listen to my cassettes—I collect cassettes so much, I can’t stop shop cassettes when I’m on the cassette shop—, post some pictures on my blog cause I’d love to remember all things that inspire me on my fancy activities,  scrapbook-ing and doodle-ing, etc. And to forget about my sadness of everything, my friends help me to do that. To be honest I don’t have so much friends that close to me. I used to be so hard on socialize especially on high school years and middle school years. So many bad things happen on those years. In the middle school, I kinda pretended to be somebody that I’m not—I wasn’t being myself and I regret it so much—cause I don’t want people to refuse me in their circle. I pretended in those full 3 years! And I also survived bullying. Seniors bullied me many times in long terms in each actions cause my older sister studied in the same school like me. I absorb the feels and didn’t tell anybody cause I thought, ‘Well,  who care! They don’t know me though. And my sister doesn’t even care about me. And she’s busy with her friends. What’s the big deal?’. I bottled myself up in this bullying issue. I through it all in my way. I did some fancy things like listen to some indie music from all over the world. I do research on the internet—There was a time when I spent my 5 hours of my day in the internet café just to do homework and do my things, believe it or not I learn algebra from the internet cause I’ve got so many times there—, I watched music demos on my space and youtube. I enjoyed it really. I’ve got friends from middle school but like I said not much. Cause people look me differently. They judge first, I don’t know they found me like I’m a freako. I wanted to be everybody’s friend but the problem is, Would they? At first it was about 10-20 friends but as the time goes by, they betrayed me, and they didn’t accept me the way I am anymore. And they left me cause they’ve got another business and I decide to do the same. I mean, I’m used to it anyway. I wanted to fix it but it always end up like they embarrassed me in front of so many people. So, my middle years end up in this situation when I got just 2 people as a friend. How shame L . That’s middle school story.
And high school, It wasn’t really different with my middle years. I’m an old-fashioned girl, did I say that already? Well, I listen to The Beatles a lot since I was a kid, I listen to old jazz music like Louise Armstrong, Dickie Valentine, Perry Como, Pat Boone, Jim Reeves, Connie Francis, Ella Fitzgerald, Nancy Sinatra, etc. I listen to folk music from old age too like Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, Nana Mouskouri, Simon & Garfunkel, etc. I listen to many more old songs like ABBA, Bee Gees, Celine Dion, Chrisye, Debbie Gibson But don’t get me wrong please. Even though I am an old-fashioned doesn’t mean I don’t do modern culture. I listen to modern songs too. Especially Indie music. I like Kings of Convenience,  Ingrid Michaelson, Teitur, Sondre Lerche, Lena Mayer Landrut, Kate Nash, Sara Bareilles, Florence + The Machines, Oren Lavie, Landon Pigg, Lucy Schwartz, Birdy, Bon Iver, Foster The People, Fun, etc. Well, Death Cab for Cutie, Feist, Imperial Mammoth, The Civil Wars, etc now I sound like teenage my age! Hahaha~ . I’ve told you that I’m a bookworm. I actually read any kinds of book. But, I love literature. Well, I’m not really good on English for that so I’d prefer to read the Indonesian version. But, I’m still learning and I expect that I can learn much from you so I can improve my English and be able to read some original versions of literature. I love Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens, and I love A Little Princess by Frances Hudgson Burnett, I love The Chronicles of Narnia Series by C.S Lewis, etc.
I watch movies a lot! I watch any kind of genre. But mostly Adventures, Classical, Romantic (I like quirky kind of love story)movies. I love to watch Dirty Dancing, Grease, Across The Universe, The Help, My Girl, Edward Scissorhands, Jane Eyre, The Stoker, The Chronicles of Narnia, Harry Potter, The Secret Garden, A Little Princess, The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button, etc. Oh my god, I used to sing "You're The One That I Want" in alien language. Cause I was just a child and I wasn't sure about things I sing.  SO, It was quiet like "wkjjjwjlqoihduwyu" I don't know...

What else? Okay, I think I already told you about my hobbies. I don’t really into TVs programs but I’m really into movies and TV series. Like Sherlock BBC, Lie To Me, Charlie’s Angels, etc. I play guitar too, and I sing along to myself whenever I feel sad. I sometimes make a theme song for my situations. I know it’s silly. But, I can’t stop myself on doing that cause it’s so automatically out from my mouth. Oh god, you should know about how much awkward things I found in my daily activities. I feel so shy and sometimes embarrassed. And when I feel that way, It's like I’m eating a lemon. It feels so sour and like I don’t want to be exist. Aaaah~. So, let’s take a leap to the next level. I have a dream to be a fashion designer. I doodle a lot and almost all of them are fashion doodle. I read fashion magazines like GoGirl! as a reference. I learn how to draw woman clothes by looking at pictures and try to adopt the lines. I want to be a fashion designer because I feel that this is what I’m into no matter what. Actually, it began when I was a child that my mom bought or sometimes made me some clothes and mostly dresses for kids. She made them for me and they're so beautiful. It made me think that it's cool to make your own dresses and make them for others. And it continued when the first time I watch TV cable and there's Fashion TV. This thing just locked in my heart. I feel like, ‘Aaah! God, I want it so bad!’. And hopefully I wish I could be an International fashion designer. I want to make Indonesia to be proud of me. And also I want to break those international perception that said Indonesia is a poor country ,stupid,  miserable, and the place where you could get professionals with cheap salary. I want to learn much in this school cause I know this institution could be bigger than now. I believe that. So, that’s all about me. I’m sorry that this is The Worst About-Me Ever. But I tried so hard. But I promise you that I’ll try harder. And I’m so sorry that things I share to you in this essay are not very good ones. I hope you don’t mind about it. I hope you’re not fall asleep while reading this. Thank you very much.

Fikriyani Nur Rahman—Desain Mode 2013—13910011—Monday/Sept 2nd 2013 11:00PM

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